Happy New Year! + Ramblings and Resolutions

It’s a brand new year friends!

Deepika Mohan Divassence

Blogging had taken a backseat in the past two years and how much ever I tried to blog regularly, I just couldn’t. There were so many reasons I could attribute to that but no excuses. I always write stating that I’m going to blog regularly or I’m going to do something out of a hope that I will act upon it because I’ve written about it. Unfortunately something or the other crops up and everything comes to a standstill.

Well, hopefully this year changes everything. I am determined to spend time doing what I love. My brother and I were having this discussion about living your daily life to reach a goal of luxury versus doing what you are passionate about and turning that into a profession. The latter requires time and patience to see some sort of returns. I studied Economics but I did not want a job which involved number crunching. So now, I’m working as a Copy Editor but… my passion is business.

Being a perfectionist, I do not write about something, post pictures or sell something I do not like. I need to be 100% happy about it to share it with you. I don’t know how working moms or those who blog after work manage their schedule but hats off to them. I am in front of the computer from 9 to 6 and to come back home and stare at the computer makes me sick. That kind of took off most of my time from blogging. I couldn’t push myself to blog after a hard day’s work. It would have definitely been half-hearted.

Another reason why I kept to myself and took time off from the social media and in general talking to others was because I was going through a lot in my life which I wanted to keep to myself. I refused to share my problems with anyone. From a very young age, I have been judged for various reasons.. from the school I studied in to being fat and ugly compared to others. That kind of grew on me and made me keep to myself and in general I was insecure and scared to talk to others for the fear of being judged.

All that slowly started changing over a period of time. I started blogging and when people started leaving nice comments it made me feel good but I still had doubts about myself. Body shaming had led to self-doubt and I had been running away as problems grew in the last two years instead of facing them.

Last year I met a wonderful man to whom I’m getting married this year, made new friends who love me for who I am. They’ve helped me understand that I need to put myself first and love myself to love others. My life gained a new perspective in 2015.

I’m taking a break from work post my wedding to spend time with my mom, resume blogging, baking, my online jewellery store and an exciting new venture which I will talk about in March. I’ve also decided to overlook the finer details and not break my head over minute things.

I’ve never opened up about body shaming or about not feeling confident on the blog before since Divassence! is my happy space. Now I am putting a full stop to the negativity in my life and beginning life afresh. I wanted to share it with all of you and just let you know that if you want to talk about anything I’m here.

Have a wonderful year ahead and remember you are the best and if someone tells you otherwise, feel sorry about their insecurity rather than believing them.